What is Imago?
Imago Relationship Therapy (IRT) was created by Dr. Harville Hendrix and his wife Helen LaKelly Hunt, co-authors of the best-selling “Getting the Love You Want: A Guide For Couples (1988).”
The term ‘Imago” is a label that means an image that we have unconsciously formed from our interactions, both positive and negative, with our key caregivers in childhood. This image becomes a template for us later in life that we use to meet our unconscious needs and wants.
We often unconsciously are attracted to partners that we believe will satisfy our perceived needs and yet often, since it is unconscious, we never have clear conversations about what we are missing and would like to feel again to feel loved.
As part of this work, Dr. Hendrix and Ms. Hunt have developed focused and effective exercises that:
- Help couples get on the same page formulating a couples vision of their relationship
- Help couples learn a new way of talking and listening with/to each other so that each feels heard and understood
- Incorporate fun, surprise and levity in the relationship that may be too overly focused on the negative aspects of the relationship
- Develop more romance in the relationship
- Allow couples to broaden their sense of compassion and deeper love for their partner once they understand more about what their childhood experiences were like and how they were affected
- Teach couples how to speak with each other when they’re already starting from an angry place
We each believe we know how to talk and listen to each other. But the reason why we feel invisible and kind of crazy after our conversations is that we are not convinced that our partner really has heard or understands how we feel or can validate our feelings.
People are usually too busy making assumptions about what the other means and reacting to those thoughts and sentiments in a defensive mode.
Respect and Emotional Safety are Key
Imago Therapy is a great method to strengthen respect for each other and create emotional honesty and vulnerability. That’s why I like to use it. It works.
Don’t wait! Make an appointment now to experience a different quality of relationship.